From time to time bad things do happen, sometimes for reason unknown to you and sometimes for reasons out of your control but its the way in which you stand your ground and build on your experiences. Sometimes it can be too late, I must admit, But for me I live by a defensible knowledge of what makes a marriage a partnership. Many people state to me that when the times get tough, sometimes you should just walk away and I just do not agree. For me, marriage is an unbreakable bond between two people that can take the hardest of hits and the most horrific of lashings and still pull through, even when somewhat harder to bare. I do not know the feelings and ideology of others but can only scale my innermost thoughts to come to the assumption that;

When times get tough take a deep breathe and jump on with gritted teeth.

When all seems impossible you can always find a way to build on what you have.

When your arsenal is depleted and you have no more to give, sometimes your partner can surprise you.

I’m not saying its easy, and by god, sometimes it can be the hardest of notions and the deepest of worries to take that first step but isn’t that my role as a husband? through thick and thin, through rainstorms and thunder, to always be there? We married for a reason and that reason is more than just love and affection but a partnership built on formidable foundations and exuberant dreams. I may be living in a dream land hoping for changes that will not surface but shall I wonder? of course not! my vow is MY VOW and through sickness and in health and through the good times and bad times I will always be there for I am Chris, Husband and father, provider and safeguard.

I look at times gone by and wonder where things may have gone wrong and look at what I may have done differently to rectify my mistakes. I wonder if there was anything I can do to bring back the smiles that once lit up every part of my life, but all I can do is wonder. I’m stuck in a moment that pains me to acknowledge the decay of once was but I have hope. A little, but enough to rebuild. I’m sitting here contemplating questions to myself to find what needs to change and what can succeed.

What did I do wrong and how can I change?

What do we need and how do I get it?

Was/Am I the man she wanted/wants?

My list is endless but I’m not afraid to answer the questions.. I’ll sit here a contemplate my role as a husband and how I can fix the unfixable.. We will just have to wait and see what the next few months will bring… Right now I have my eyes set on a conclusion. One that Leads my life down a different road but still leads me to the same ending. I must take a stand and be the man who I know I can be, if not for me but for my daughter, Daisy-Ella.

I have lived a life without a father by my side to raise me to be the man he is.. I’ve found my own journey, my own path, my own meaning. My worries for my marriage still don’t over shadow the undeniable fact of my affection to my daughter, as much as I falter let it be known my heart counts the moments down to when I can hold her in my arms the way she deserves.

To find your way here are a few things to do;

Identify The Underlying Reason – Write down not only your concerns but the concerns of your partner. Try to understand their view and understand why it has become an issue for them.

Look at your communication – Find ways of telling your partner how you feel and what you feel in the easiest way possible. This area is a big part of a marriage and needs to be found sooner rather than later.hint: listen and don’t speak over your partner

Reevaluate your behavior  – Problems in a marriage are rarely ever one sided, reevaluate what you bring to the relationship and how you can change.

Compromise – You may believe that you are always right or that you have a valid point that you need to give but being in a marriage is all about compromises. Try to come to an amicable solution that can benefit you both.

Connection and trust – The hardest of the tasks.. This may take days, weeks or months on end to find again.. This part is about building the trust you once had and finding a way to connect again as the once loving partners of yesterday. It will happen it just takes time.

Life throws you surprises and drags you down with untenable fury but like most we are built to bounce back to even greater heights. For all who have that chance to save your marriage take this advice;

Sit down, take a deep breathe and remember who you are and what you have…. fight for it!

I’m ready for the ride and ready to make a stand.

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