I had the absolute pleasure of meeting Amber of The Mogul Mommies recently to be included on their site as their first ‘Dad blogger’ piece.

Go check them out at

www.themogulmommies.com

Mogul Mommies has the pleasure of welcoming our first dad blogger–Chris of Daddy Camo Blog! He joins us all the way from the UK where he lives with his wife and daughter, Daisy-Ella. Because we love to hear about parenting from father’s perspectives, we’re excited to share Chris’ candid views on how parenting has changed since he was raised; being a stay-at-home dad; excellent budgeting tips… and his new-found appreciation for parents who stay home to raise their children. Let’s give a big Mogul Mommies welcome to Chris!

Chris, you are among the growing number of dad bloggers on the internet, which obviously highlights that you’re pretty hands-on. How have you seen the role of fathers change from when you grew up to 2014?

I am part of a group of dad bloggers and their trials into fatherhood–it’s great to see how accepting people are. The world has evolved and you have to evolve with it–it changed for me and I can’t even get the grin off my face because of it.

As for changes I’ve seen, well, I have a theory and it’s one born of heartache and tragedy. I’m not sure if this is the same for all nations, but the United Kingdom grew a generation in the 1980’s who, at a whim, would not even take much thought into divorce and breaking up a family unit. This, in turn, has produced a new generation who grew up watching as shattered families tore divisions between one another, thus, rattled hearts to heed the words, “My children will never experience this”. Maybe I’m a romanticist, maybe I’m fool hardy, but I abide by a creed–Daisy-Ella will never grow up not knowing her father; will never fall asleep without a kiss on the forehead; will never stand waiting for a warm embrace when forlorn or in pain. I’m her daddy and my job is by her side.

Stay-at-home-dads are becoming as common at SAHMs—what, if any, misconceptions did you have prior to taking on this role and what advice to you have for fathers who may be transitioning home to care for their children?

It’s not as easy as the movies and TV make it out to be–I can now appreciate so much more than I would have if I worked a 9-5 job. It’s a job in it’s own right. I guess the biggest shock for me was and is the lack of sleep that it entails. Even being a SAHD and WAHD, I am still up helping any way I can–changing a nappy [diaper], formula or chores. There’s always something to do and the idea that if I ‘bring home the bacon’ then I can just rest up, is about as true as Martians being on Mars, but do I fret? Of course not, my day is hard, but the rewards to be with my family out weigh anything that comes my way.

The one problem dads have in society is that we are stereotyped into being the bread winner; even with changes in culture, it underpins what many think is the norm. Being a stay-at-home dad has its stigma in equality, but this seems to be fading fast and for the better. The biggest trick I’ve learnt is making sure you are a little under prepared. Prepare for the worst, but not for everything. As for me, it helped astronomically in me determining and defining the difference between a need and a want in an everyday dad life, otherwise you’ll end up with a lot of stuff you’ll use once and never again.

Also, be quite vigilant with your child’s future; cut those coupons where you find them, sign up to every club, offer or scheme available–as one day you may receive an email or something in the post that could really help. Also, look at forms of saving–I read somewhere recently that based on prices of houses and inflation, by the time my daughter, Daisy-Ella, turns 18, an average 3-bed house in the UK ‘could’ be around £3.2M, so I best get saving just on the off chance it may just happen.

Truth be told, I don’t know any dad who has the same routine or tips as the next, as we all seem to find our own way with so many variable options. You will learn your own path that works for you.

It is always so endearing watch a father care for his child—please walk MM readers through a typical day at home with Daisy Ella?

To begin, I’d like to point out that my wife and I are a team and work each day as it comes together, but Daisy-Ella has almost definitely picked our roles.

Recently, I have evolved my role from SAHD to SAHD and work-at-home dad; this way, I can be on full-alert for anything that can or may come our way. Typically, our day starts around 6am with the first feed through breast feeding, but with a hungry baby, I’m always up brewing some ‘Cow Gate Hungry Baby’ formula, ready to take her in my arms and get involved with the feeding. Daisy-Ella is a bit of a machine when it comes to timing; almost immediately, I know that I have to get to her room for the explosive ejection of anything inside her. We even have our own routine known as ‘Prada and Givenchy’ where I parade her new nappy as if it is a fashion show and this seems to make her smile.

Me and my wife then try to prepare the pram [stroller] with a carrier to get out of the house for at least an hour a day. I quite enjoy this time as I generally put Daisy-Ella onto my chest and go on adventures with her–The Adventures of Daddy and Strawberry Girl. But recently, she has wanted to stay in my arms without any kind of harness I have available and wow, the muscles I must be building up!

When we come home it’s ‘play time’ and I will take her on my lap and go through our usual routine of ‘Daisy-Ella Walking’ assisted on my lap and generally as far as she can go. This generally ends up with her walking aloft my head and ends up with me and Daisy-Ella playing around. The only problem we have with my time with Daisy-Ella is that I always seem to make her laugh, this in turn always ends up with a tirade of the cutest hiccups I’ve ever seen and the hiccups must happen, I’d say, 3 / 4 maybe even 5 times a day. I just can’t help myself, I like to see my daughter smile and laugh.

We pretty much repeat all these stages throughout the day until it gets to the night and when she sleeps. Sleepy time is my time to run off and either A) Write up on my day as Daddy, or get on with some graphics work then onwards to later in the day when we relax to watch a movie or some 1980’s cartoons–Gummi Bears, Tom and Jerry or a bit of the new age Doc Mcstuffin.

Funny thing is, as much as Daisy-Ella enjoys these to watch, she gets the biggest grin when we watch sport together, so I watch the Packers highlights with her or an Arsenal game.

In between all this, though, I find myself having full conversations with Daisy-Ella about politics, sport, days events, etc., as if she’s my counterpart in a heated debate haha, she’s also started to ‘talk’ back to us with the same repetitive noise over and over again, but the look on her face as if to say ‘yep I’m talking too’ is priceless.

What does fatherhood mean to you and how has fatherhood changed you?

Growing up in a broken home, fatherhood is somewhat of a passionate movement for me. The ideology based upon not falling down the same path as my father and others I have attached myself to over the years has given me a keen understanding on what not to do and who not to be. Fatherhood, to me, stands for solidarity in a family unit–through the hard times and through the good–to always be that figure in the family you can always count on. It’s the greatest adventure I have ever been on, an adventure where uncontrollable and unconditional love for my daughter drives me to be a better man and better husband. I don’t just want to be a father, I want to be a daddy.

Complete the sentence: What I like most about being a SAHD is…

The connection I get the my daughter, Daisy-Ella. The hard work, long hours and lack of sleep are well worth it when you balance the happiness of your child. To watch Daisy-Ella smile and laugh is all I really need. The funny thing is, I had a conversation with my wife the other day that ended in a confusing manner, but I said, “This is the first time I truly understand unconditional love”, don’t get me wrong, I love my wife with all my heart, but there’s some something about that little bundle of joy that gets me right in the heart and… Swimming haha, just really enjoy swimming with Daisy-Ella she started at 7 weeks old and just hasn’t stopped.