I’m in Daddyzone

Knowledge about fathers interactions with their children at a young age is, I must say, thin at best. Not much to read and not much to learn as a broad emphasis of this topic is revolved around the interactions of mother and baby. So to understand this phenomenon I’ve had to ride off the back of information I’ve learnt based around my wife. ‘Daddyzone‘ or this is what we call it in our house, is when my daughter wakes for my voice, is excited by the sight of me and constantly needs me around her. I have what my wife calls, a definite daddy’s girl.

Watch the grin limber onto my face like I’ve won the jackpot. I guess before my daughter was born I was expecting an up hill struggle to gain any attention from her. With what we are shown by the media and by word of mouth, mothers are the main key for all our children’s attention. So how and why? I have a theory, a lose theory but a theory none the less and I believe its based on personality.

Now this is one of those posts that will read like one of those ‘well duh’ moments. Truth be told for 6 months my daughter has been my beautiful little girl who was, is and always will be a spitting image of my wife. The big lips and piercing eyes to the long legs to one ear bigger than the other. I can see myself in her through my button nose but I’ve been watching to see the changes in her physically to see the resemblance. Not a whimper apart from that… So in a moment I changed my glance from the physicality to whom she is as a person and, in honesty, it brought a smile to my face and made me laugh quite a bit. Daisy-Ella has these odd quirks that make it hard in the night and also makes it amusing in the day but ultimately I smile as she  acts like me.

So is this why she’s always wanting her Daddy? is it because we are so alike?

Well, in short I’ll explain through a series of events these past few weeks that seriously define my opinion of our ‘similarities’

Example uno: After a long night with teething issues with Daisy-Ella, I was physically and emotional exhausted. Ready to batten down the hatches and click the switch on the land of real to the land of nod and get some well deserved sleep. Now I’m not sure if this has been a life long cliche but I struggle and fight with sleep as much as any child would… I fight it so hard to the point of no return that I’m almost too tired to sleep. If that makes any sense. Anyway this situation became apparent when I was finally trying to sleep at around 6PM and had the pleasure of my daughter joining me.. ha ha.. we both writhed and squirmed forcing sleep away from us. I didn’t even realize this was happening until my wife pointed out how we’ve both been naughty by the time 2AM came about.

Both naughty – CHECK

Example Dos: Now I enjoy this one and this example may.. no no wait.. WILL make me look like a big kid. Its the act of ‘the cheeky smile’. Whenever I get up to no good or I’m doing something inappropriate within seconds of being told to go away I pull out my signature ‘What me? NO It wasn’t me… But it definitely was me mwahaha’ smile and this my friends is EXACTLY what my little Daisy-Ella does.. she does it when she fake cries or vomits in my proximity and everytime I see it I feel like I’ve formed a secret crime duo ready to take over Gotham.

STILL both naughty – CHECK and CHECK

I have to admit I love and adore this little girl and the affections she gives me but I do sometimes harbor a little worry that it may be psychologically hurting my wife with the feeling that she may be rejected in some way.. Watching them together brings a smile to my face and they do look happy to be in each others company but feel that it may be a part of my daughters developmental stage that maybe she just wants to live in the moment of being thrown in the air or play fight on the bed, to walk up and down the halls dancing graciously and watch films together.. It brings me back to my post aptly named Mommy VS. Daddy – Roles Redefined- Does Your Little One Choose Your Role As Parent? and make me wonder whether this is the key to why my daughter is craving for my attention.

Scouring the internet gives me a few clues but leaves me wavering at the precise ideas of ‘when a baby chooses daddy’ but gives me some idea for toddlers or young children and here are a few tips I’ve found a long the way:

From child clinical psychologist Erinn Hawkins at Today’s Parent

Keep your perspective. Your baby has reasons for preferring a parent change, says Hawkins. He may take the parent who spends more time with him for granted and be drawn to the “newer” parent. Conversely, your baby may favour the primary caregiver who knows the fastest way to soothe him.

And a good tip from family therapist Michelle Moreau

No sulking or scolding. “Playing favourites is really just a baby’s way of saying ‘I’m my own person,’ and you want to encourage that,” . “You don’t want to set a precedent of telling your child that what she wants doesn’t matter.”

But for now I’m happy to be in Daddyzone with my daughter and happy to play favourite. I’ll run to her whenever she needs me and definitely be there to take on the world in a crime spree of sweeties and chocolate. I watch my daughter with keen eyes as she develops and grows into her own person watching as traits from myself and my wife evolve into the strawberry girl we know and love and will not waiver at the moment she chooses mummy over me. I’m her daddy always if, when and how she needs me.

Have you ever been in the daddyzone? is your partner at odds with the change or relaxed about the change in approach your child has for your other half? Leave a comment below and let me know. Does ‘daddyzone’ really exists?

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